Getting Laid Tactic #7: Topics to Save for a Later Date—Or NEVER
When you’re getting ready to meet up with a woman, there are a lot of things you have to talk about—and some things that you absolutely MUST avoid talking about at all costs.
We’re going to focus on three important topics to avoid when you’re hooking up, so pay attention or you’ll risk some serious consequences.
- Anything illegal.
You might think that a hookup site is a pretty good place to ask a girl for something illegal. After all, she’s on a sex site, right? How uptight could she possibly be?
You’d be surprised.
There have been men who were caught with their pants down by undercover cops on adult personals dating sites. These guys were dumb enough to talk to total strangers on the Internet about some illegal things they wanted to do, and they got caught with plenty of evidence.
Even if you’re talking to a girl who isn’t really a cop, it’s REALLY unsafe to try to talk to a girl on one of these sites about anything illegal. At best, she will probably avoid you, because she doesn’t want to get into trouble. If you’re talking about something illegal to a stranger, you’re probably not that careful, and this girl won’t want to be part of it.
At worst, she’ll report you.
Most of the guys who get caught aren’t talking to cops. They’re talking to real girls who get nervous about guys who claim to be into something illegal or asking them to do something illegal, and they report these guys to the site they’re using for adult dating.
You’ll get banned.
You won’t be asked nicely to leave, you’ll be immediately banned, and your profile will be flagged, and you’ll certainly never be reimbursed for the money you spent on that site. Good luck trying to get that back!
- Anything personal.
We understand that the girls on these sites can be really easy to talk to, but make sure to keep it cool. They’re not here to hear your life story, and you’re not here to hear theirs.
Here’s a list of subjects that are way too personal to mention to someone you really just want to hook up with:
Any childhood trauma (unless it’s related to you missing a limb or something, then some minor explanation is in order)
ANYTHING about your exes
Your big insecurities
Your hopes for the future ESPECIALLY about kids and relationships
Any of your big secrets that aren’t about sex
You don’t want this woman to run away because you tried to get too personal. That’s not something you want to do with a sex hookup.
If you find that you genuinely want to bring up these topics a lot, consider whether you might not want to chance your profile. Are you SURE you’re not looking for a relationship? These are the kinds of things you talk about in a relationship, but not in a sex hookup, so plan accordingly.
- Your optional hard kinks
Everyone has a few vanilla kinks and a few double decker extra dark chocolate kinks they don’t mention until much later in the game…or at least, they probably shouldn’t.
It’s fine to talk about your kinks with a girl on a hookup site. But what’s important to remember is that you take things at the appropriate pace, which pretty much means taking them at her pace.
It’s GOOD to say, “Hey, these are my kinks, want to share some of your fantasies with me?”
It’s NOT GOOD to say, “Hey, I’m really into strapping women into sex swings and leaving them there all night while I get a beer with my buddies, then coming downstairs and banging them while we watch Telletubbies.”
If any girl does want to go out with you after that, trust us: you do not want to go out with her.
If you’ve been talking about your vanilla kinks for a while, you can ask if she has any bigger, darker fantasies she’s kept hidden away. If she’s into talking about it, fine. But if she’s even slightly nervous or hesitant, back off with the weird stuff for a while.