Getting Laid Tactic #6: What to Discuss
No, this isn’t going to be some kind of guide to small talk with the girl you’re meeting online.
This is a guide to how to bring up your SEXY KINKS with a woman before you two make the decision to meet up in person to try all those things out instead of just talking about them!
When you meet a woman on adult personals sites, you’re going to want to see what she’s like before you hit it. You want to know that you’re compatible, that she’s going to be a lot of fun, and that you’re going to be able to satisfy her cravings.
Basically, you need to talk about four things:
Your kinks—both the vanilla ones and the weird ones.
Her kinks—both the vanilla ones and the weird ones.
Your limits—stuff you’re not sure about and stuff that’s a dealbreaker.
Her limits—stuff she’s not sure about and stuff that’s a dealbreaker.
You HAVE a red flag to wave whenever you think she’s doing something that you’re going to hate, or if she suggests that you do something that you’re totally not into. Even if you do meet on an adult dating site, you can always say no, and you can always walk away. You don’t have to let some lady do things straight out of a German porno if you’re not into that.
Pretty much everyone has kinks. Some of them are very vanilla, and extremely safe to bring up online. Here are some really safe, easy kinks for you to admit liking to ease her into the idea of talking about kinky sex:
Blindfolds (start with a taste test with fruits and candy)
Gentle bondage (silk scarves, always have a safe word)
Dirty talk (make sure she doesn’t have any words she HATES being called)
Dress-up (It’s never too early for Halloween!)
If you want to start slow, girls will rarely be turned off by the idea of any of these kinks, if they’re on an adult dating site already looking for sex. The only one you might want to tread lightly around is the gentle bondage one—some people have problems with being tied up, so don’t worry if that turns her off. There are lots of other things to explore!
You don’t want anything to come out of left field, and neither will she.
If you have something you absolutely NEED to get off, like if you have a 100 percent NEED for a girl to wear a Ronald Reagan mask and play the banjo to get you to have an orgasm, you’re probably going to want to be on a site that caters to fetishes and fetish enthusiasts instead.
If your necessary kink is a little more common or acceptable, but it’s still totally important to you, tell her about it before you meet. If she knows about it beforehand, it won’t come out of nowhere, and she won’t be upset about it, no matter what it is.
If she says that she doesn’t want to do whatever it is, don’t take it as a personal attack—there are some fetishes of hers you probably don’t want to try, so you have to make a decision. You can either decide that she’s worth being around even if she doesn’t do your kink, or you can decide that there are lots of other fish in the sea and move on.
It’s a personals site, so there aren’t a whole lot of pressures on you to go out with every girl that you see, or even every girl that emails you.
Enforce your limits.
It might sound kind of weird that we’re talking about basically protecting yourself from women, but hey, we’ve known some women who have gotten pretty crazy about getting what they want!
Just because a girl wants to do it doesn’t mean you have to do it. If she suggests something and you’re not into it, just say you’re not into it! If it’s a dealbreaker for her, then it’s a dealbreaker.
Yes, we’re aware that it sounds weird to talk about getting rid of women who might sleep with you because we wouldn’t do their kinks, but one of our members was chatting with a woman who told him she couldn’t get off unless she was in a threesome with two dudes.
Maybe some dudes are into that, but this guy wasn’t, and he found another girl to go out with. Another girl asked one of our members if she could piss in his mouth, so no, we don’t go along with EVERY kink that women ask us to do, and neither should you.
Keep yourself safe and healthy—that’s number one. If you can pull that off, you’re on your way to having great sex.